the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize