guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
