addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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