just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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