Already got asked if we're dating
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize