My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize