i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
