were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
