if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
