so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
