I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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