Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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