I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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