amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
