I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Banned from zoo.
Again?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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