Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
