I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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