Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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