his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
