Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
