I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
