woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
