what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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