He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
