and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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