guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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