allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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