i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
