oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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