In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
