But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
