A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
