I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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