after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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