My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
