So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
