what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
