I wannas sexs uuuuu
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
