is your mom at the bar?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Randomize
