i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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