Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
