Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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