Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
