you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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