I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
