I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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