Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
