Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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