If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
