Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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