I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize