So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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