I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
