he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize