Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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