Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
