he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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