She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
