Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
