i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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