I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
