I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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