If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
