so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
