He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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