Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
