no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Im part way to drunk.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
